Starting early tonight... not even 10:00 yet, and I'm already awake from dreaming... hearing loud pounding at the back door and so frightened because I'm here alone... waiting,... hoping whoever it is will just go away and knowing deep inside it's Matthew and he's in trouble again. How can he be here when he's locked up hundreds of miles away? So, I finally get the nerve to go look and sure enough, there he is - knocking at the laundry room door and crying.
I open the door and ask him what he's doing here... He says he got out early. Really? 2 years early? I don't think so,. and he says ok - we'll agree to disagree, but he's cold and hungry - I tell him he really needs to call the police and tell them where he is - doesn't he know he's putting me in jeopardy? it's illegal for me to have him here - I can be arrested and sent to jail - if I let him in, it's a criminal act? even if I am his mother?
And so I awaken with a pounding heart and the sure knowledge I won't be going back to sleep any time soon... upset emotionally and physically exhausted - I don't like this life I live now.
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